My last leg

Lately things have been pretty unpleasant and very stressful in my house. My step-grandfather passed last week and so there’s that as well as some pre-existing problems between me and my stepfather. It’s very, very bad right now and its to the point where just looking at me will make him start screaming for no reason (and this is how its been since I moved back home.)

I’ve got nothing left to give him anymore and its going so far as to where he’s threatening me and I’m just at my breaking point. My last leg.

So, here’s to my job for giving me a place to run away to, to my friends for being there for me to vent, to Jon for being the person I can always talk to when I’m alone and to my King Strawberry for putting up with and listening to me about my family and my depression.

I feel like I’m sinking to the bottom of the ocean, my only companion is the anchor tied to my ankles.

Finally doing something

 

There’s a big difference between my life now and the life I had in college. For starters… I have a job… not that its something I’ve never had before but I mean… didn’t have one in college…. or a game plan for that matter but I digress.

About that whole job thing though… I wake up every morning LOATHING myself and everyone and everything and I just want to scream at the very idea of going off and scanning the same barcodes over the same scanners and talking to the same people and doing the same things over and over and over and over and… well you get the point.

Now I’m not saying that everyone feels this way or anything, some people legitimately love working there and that’s all fine and dandy but for me its like walking into the same scene from your least favorite movie and replaying it over and over and over ESPECIALLY when no one in my home town is actually nice and has a snake tongue behind every word.

So… after 5 months of complaining and constantly hating myself… I’m fixing the problem. I’ve decided to move away from retail because it really does suck and move towards an actual 9-5 job where I can FINALLY GET THE WEEKENDS OFF! and spend some well needed time with Mason. Here’s to the future Harlee and all the crazy adventures that shall be had!

UPDATE: I got this job at the local Asian restaurant!!! ^_^ yay! No more grocery store!