Moving too slow in the fast lane.

Things will never go your way and when they (rarely) do, its because something had to go wrong to go right. Recently they’ve cut my hours at works which means that I wont have enough money for rent for the new home… not really too terrible considering WHERE it is but it’s still pretty “sucker-punch-ya-to-the-gut-cuz-ya-thought-you-were-doing-all-of-the-right-things”… ya know?

I’m learning how to handle the heavy stuff… very slowly… and I cant really afford to be slow right now. I’m doing everything on my own and I’m becoming very, very stressed and buckling under the pressure of it all. I told myself at the beginning of the bad that I would never let Mason see me fall and I will still stand with that statement even if there’s cracks in the foundation. I am my own support system- Strawberry has the emotional support down though…

 

Just trying to make ends meet…

Just a thought.

The pain, the power and my broke ass.

So, as most of the people who read my blog know, I’ve been living with my mom, step dad and part time with my boyfriend since April. It’s miserable. I hate it, they hate it, Strawberry hates it.. it’s bad. Fortunately, I’ll be moving into a cute little trailer in the heart of my hometown sometime in August and it is slowly coming into play on its own! But then there’s financial blah that just gets in the way of everything, right? I’m slowly… not even slowly… very quickly going broke and as much as I love Strawberry, he’s not helping and he doesn’t have a job anymore.

I owe my father $400 and growing, my car is broken down and I have to replace all parts (which will be about $400-$600 total), I pay my health insurance monthly which is $100, doctor’s shit that keeps going on and on and on and is now up to $400+ AND I have to save for my new home which is about $200-300 monthly all while only earning $550 every 2 weeks… and that’s going to drop to $360 in the next week…

too much…

Dealing with people.

I’ve not been on in a while so I’ll just update you a bit: I got a job at Walmart as a cashier about 3 months ago.

It’s not been all bad, mostly just a lot of repetition but as the job title implies I do have to take care of, handle and/or deal with customers. As an individual who gets nervous easily and needs to feel comfortable to become even remotely social, this job comes super easy to me aside from some snags. So… here is a list of things I’ve learned thus far on how to deal with people in both the workplace and in everyday life.

• Come prepared. You will constantly be surprised so just be prepared for anything, good or bad.
• Not everyone is your friend. They will pretend like they are and you can talk like you are but no, not everyone should be your friend.
• Don’t get discouraged. Shit happens, people make mistakes. Just keep going because it does work out.
• Ask for help. You do not have to know everything and no one is expecting you to.
• Find your center. It sounds cheesy but it helps when you need to refocus.
• Secure your quiet area. You will always been a debunker after every day, working or not. Its just good to have something that can help you wind down from everything.
• Learn who you can trust. This goes back to the friend thing, not everyone is nice enough to help you out when in need.
• Make a friend. Trust me, sitting alone at lunch sucks and sadly I do it more than I want to.
• Learn to laugh. This one is annoying and can be difficult but its required for a lot of things (especially in retail.)
• Don’t overthink the small stuff. There will always be something bigger that will come soon after.
• Pace yourself. Rushing sucks and when you’re sore and you’re handling something it sucks even more. just take your time, you’ll get it soon enough.
• Always have a pen on hand. I don’t know what it is about pens but its like they vanish; keep one on you incase of emergency or as a conversation starter.

Hopefully this can help.

Just a thought.