Moved In.

It’s finally happened! Strawberry and I are officially all moved in to our new room!!! I just set up the internet and stuff today so I FINALLY have that (no more going to my mom’s house to update the blog and stuff!!!!!!) and you know what that means!? NETFLIXXXXXXXX (I can FFFIIINNAALLLYYYY catch up on all the new Doctor Who episodes too!!!) On a plus, Mason absolutely loves his new job and he’s going to be getting paid more than me so we will be able to do more things together!! YAY FOR NOT LIVING ON THE GRIND ANYMORE!!!

All-in-all, I’m happy that everything is turning around and after a stressful yet fulfilling few months, we can finally rest easy knowing something is going right and we’re safe.

Side note: Mason and I watched Knocked Up last night and now he wants a baby??? (not right now but its nice to know that it’s an option for the future) and with all of our friends getting pregnant and having babies…. The baby fever is setting in for both of us O_O!!

Time to live vicariously through them for a while :D!

 

Moving too slow in the fast lane.

Things will never go your way and when they (rarely) do, its because something had to go wrong to go right. Recently they’ve cut my hours at works which means that I wont have enough money for rent for the new home… not really too terrible considering WHERE it is but it’s still pretty “sucker-punch-ya-to-the-gut-cuz-ya-thought-you-were-doing-all-of-the-right-things”… ya know?

I’m learning how to handle the heavy stuff… very slowly… and I cant really afford to be slow right now. I’m doing everything on my own and I’m becoming very, very stressed and buckling under the pressure of it all. I told myself at the beginning of the bad that I would never let Mason see me fall and I will still stand with that statement even if there’s cracks in the foundation. I am my own support system- Strawberry has the emotional support down though…

 

Just trying to make ends meet…

Just a thought.

6 am stretch…

Strawberry and I are pulling an all nighter… I’m supposed to be cleaning my house (which I’m so lazy to start DX<) and he’s…. well he’s playing Skyrim…. I honestly think it’s time to turn in and quick clean tomorrow morning before my parents come home…. DOING IT!

August Engagement???

I still keep in touch with two of the most amazing people I’ve ever met that live in Missouri- my “uncle” Steve and my “aunt” Karen. I love these two so much and they mean everything to me and then some for all that they did for me when I needed help the most and wasn’t getting it from my father. Well, in August, Strawberry and I will be visiting them for their anniversary! They’re already completely in love with him so I know that they will get along great. Karen was saying how she wants Strawberry and I to get married while we are out there so that Steve can give me away and that they can be a part of my wedding and I had to break it to them that Strawberry and I are in no hurry at all to get married and weren’t really planning on it for a very long time and that’s when Strawberry took the phone from me and said that, “not to spoil any surprises, but you guys might see an engagement when we come see you.”

 

Does that mean what I think it means?

 

c: all the smiles

Meeting Strawberry (this is a good one!)

1. 3. Strawberry and I met in elementary school sometime around 3rd grade. I had this massive crush (one of those cute little childhood ones)

    on him but he didn’t know anything of that and we were just best friends. I loved how eccentric and different he was and he was funny and sweet and a good friend; all the good stuff.

3. In the 6th grade my feelings didn’t really change; he was still my best friend and I still liked him but he really had a thing for one of my best friends at the time so of course, you stay quiet and just watch with slight jealousy but because its middle school and you’ve got all this awkward emotional turmoil and hormones and junk.. not fun. He ended up moved away that year and we didn’t talk after that. It was a little heart breaking but I still thought we would eventually see each other again. I feel like it was a good thing and a bad thing that he left because 6th-9th grade I was bullied and made fun of for being in the “weird kid” group and no one ever looked at me or thought of me the way I had seen him and it ended with me setting a very high and almost unachievable standard based loosely on Strawberry himself.

5. Around this time I had met Jon, my now ex-fiancé, and my standards began to change a bit to fit the needs and wants that I saw in both personalities and styles. I wanted someone tall, someone who was strong (or at least stronger than me), someone who could make me laugh and make me feel happy. They had to be able to fluctuate with my ever changing ideas and needs and they had to have passion in something and they had to love reading or writing or drawing or painting- I wanted someone creative. They had to have red hair (Strawberry) or black and curly hair (Jon) and they had to have dark eyes or green eyes (because those are my favorites, not because of anyone specific) and the list just goes on and it created this perfection that I strived to find but never really came close to.

!!!This is the good part!!!

Years had now passed and I had since then graduated high school, went to college, dropped out of college, got engaged, ran off with my boyfriend to my dad’s, had my heart completely broken and was working a dead end job being miserable in Missouri (Misery, ha!) There was always a thought in my mind that I missed Mason and many times since he had moved, I looked for him on Myspace or Facebook and one day… I found him. He OBVIOUSLY looks COMPLETELY different, yet still the same and I got so excited that I had wanted to cry. My feelings had long since disappeared  but I was just so elated that I had found one of my most favorite people ever and had the chance to once again reconnect. Now, in full honesty, I was terrified that he wouldn’t remember me at all and had turned into one of those guys I had dealt with my whole life- douche-y, arrogant, obnoxious, always thought he was funny but wasn’t… one of those guys, but to my surprise, he wasn’t like that at all. He was sweet, genuinely funny, remembered me (yay!), and was just… everything that I remembered and more and it was then that everything I had felt, all the happiness and the missing him and loneliness and craziness… everything just kind of came rushing back and I fell for this guy that I hadn’t seen in 7 years who lived back in my home state! We talked for a long time and soon after, our phone conversations lasted 5 hours and then 9 hours and then 11 hours and then 15 hours, all the while keeping some kind of conversation flowing. It was then that I decided that I would tell him how I felt and I made it clear that if he didn’t feel the same it wouldn’t change our friendship at all but I got lucky and he said he liked me back! ^^ That night he asked if I would be his girlfriend to which I said yes and we’ve been together since. I can honestly say that Mason fulfills everything about my “perfect lover” profile and so much more and I feel so thankful to have him in my life once more…

Since that time… I’ve moved back to Texas, got a new job, fell crazy in-love with Strawberry, stopped talking to Jon and I’m just… the happiest I’ve been in a very long time…

Strawberry and I making goofy faces c:

Jon’s usual face

Your Whovian is showing! (4-23-14)

Today is the second anniversary of the Impossible Astronaut! A major whovian day to say the least. It is on this day that you wear tallies on your body to represent those taken by “the Silence”, a big and creepy looking villain on Doctor Who. So… armed with River Song’s sonic screwdriver, I took to my day like this (obviously I’ve had to fix a few tallies already!) It’s kinda weird but really… it’s just something fun and really easy to do and VERY easy to get into!

Whovian Problems

King Strawberry needs to come and save me again.

Mason and I are no longer “long distance” but we are relatively long distance. He lives a few hours away from me now and I see him whenever he visits family in the town next to mine… I don’t see him as often as I would like and I never really get to talk to him but scarcely when he’s at him which depresses the ever living hell out of me.

I have a high anxiety of being alone both physically and emotionally so when I’m by myself, I usually curl up with my animals and there’s a lot of talking to myself and crying (which is pretty pathetic at my age, yes I’m aware.) This doesn’t mean I’m needy for companionship, it just means that every so often in a day I need to talk to someone or see someone familiar to calm a panic that I feel in my chest…

My issue right now is that I haven’t seen him in two weeks and I only got to talk to him for a couple hours one day in that time… depression is slowly starting to set in and as much as I try to distract myself which various jobs and projects, nothing seems to be working anymore and I’m at this point where I’m needing to talk to him or see him or feel him or kiss him or hug him or hit him or just…. be with him…

 

King Strawberry needs to come save me again and he needs to hurry.

The long trip.

So if you’ve been following my blog, you’d know that I’ve had a lot of recent struggle with moving to Missouri from Texas. Well, I’m pretty pleased to say that on Saturday I will be making the long trip back home where I belong. I’m pretty excited and all packed up. I can leave Missouri knowing I tried which is the important thing and this has been… unforgettable to say the least.

Not so Single?

So… Mason asked me out? I’m excited for it and hopefully it can survive the long distance until I can get home. I’ll take it as a good sign c:

 

Adopting Your Own Kid.

So… if you’ve kept up with my posts, you know that I’ve recently moved to Missouri to be with my dad and my step-mom (and Jon) but the flip side of the whole thing is that I didn’t know of my father until I was 10 years old, didn’t contact him until March of 2013 and didn’t meet with him face-t0-face until November 2013 so its been a pretty wild year… but this post isn’t so much about my dad but about my step-mother, Tery.

Tery is easily one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met and her and I have so much in common. We like the same music, food, movies, same outlooks on things.. there’s just a lot (: Recently Tery apologized to me because she didn’t know if I would take offense to the fact that she’s introduced me as her daughter to everyone which I DO NOT!!! Tery and Ryan are definitely becoming a big part of my everything right now and I was just beyond happy to know that she’s accepted me so fast into a position that is so important and it’s nice to know that I’m in the family tree (and they’re introducing Jon as their son-in-law so he’s there too.)

I really think I’m gonna enjoy myself, just need to get over the culture shock of going from a city/suburb life to a middle-of-nowhere life.